Snippets of my life:
I have been stricken with wretched emotions again. This may reflect in this site a lot, sorry I guess you can't ever escape your basic little brain chemicals deciding it is time.
Reading about Schizophrenia more, I defenitely had some form of delusions when I was young, I thought I was being watched, I thought my parents were in conspiracy against me, I understood it didn't make sense and rejected it when it came up in my mind but it was there and it felt true and it came back everytime I was emotionally agitated and "able to receive the delusion" I think if that makes sense, now the diagnosis is Autism which is apparently adjacent to Schizophrenia (the field of psychology is bogus as far as I could tell, in the state most sciences were in like 100 years ago, divorced from neurology). What the fuck. I had completely forgotten about this, I used to think I was part of some Reality TV show (which seemed to me to be the most reasonable explanation) and was looking for people filming me or being "in on it".